10 Things I Wish I Could Tell My 20 Year-Old Self

I’m having that inevitable feeling we all get, wishing we were able to go back in time and shake some sense into our younger selves. If you had the opportunity to actually go back in time and give yourself that golden advice, what would you say?

I’ve been in the corporate professional world for four years and although that makes me far from a veteran, there are things I’ve learned that could have made a world of difference on my confidence, which is the biggest factor in my success equation.In life, there are a lot of things you can’t learn unless you make mistakes and experience yourself, however here are 10 things that I’ve learned which can help any new professional go out there and conquer the world. 

1. Don't compare yourself to others

This was the hardest lesson for me to learn, especially entering the IT industry without a technical background. In the workplace, everybody was hired for a specific reason, because they have the skills to succeed in their role. Whether you’re a network engineer, marketing guru, or finance admin, focus on your core strengths, be amazing at it, and learn from others rather than attempting to match them. Comparing yourself to anyone else will only make you feel inferior. 

2. Asking questions doesn't make you look stupid - it makes you look really smart

Have you ever started a sentence with “I have a stupid question…” ? We all have, and it’s something I challenge you to never say again. Asking questions is the best way to prove your worth. It shows you’re thinking, interested, and confident. Even if you ask someone to repeat an idea or provide more clarity on something, you’ll gain way more respect than pretending you understand and failing on a task or project. We all know the phrase, “assuming makes an ass out of you and me”, which is pertinent. You’ll get much farther by asking your questions and get the answers you want.  

3. Be human, your personality is your best asset

I used to think that acting professional was stone cold business, no laughing, no joking, sit up straight, cross your legs, perfect posture, etc. Although manners are an absolute must, by acting overly professional, I realized that I was holding back my personality. People like doing business with people they like, so don’t be afraid to be yourself.

4. People like hearing themselves talk

In scenarios or conversations that I feel are over my head or if I’m not familiar with the topic, I’ve learned that by asking questions and probing, I can keep up.  People like talking about themselves and as long as you ask the right questions to keep the conversation going, you’ll more than likely find an opportunity to redirect it to where you’d like it to go. Listening is a hidden talent. 

5. You’re never the only one

When you feel insecure, scared, inferior, or intimidated, remember that you are not alone. Everyone has these feelings at one time or another and as soon as you open up and share your own experiences, you’ll find that out. It’s how you conquer these feelings them that matters. 

6. The number one rule of negotiating is being willing to walk away

Negotiation has always been tough for me to learn, and I’m definitely still learning because it can be an uncomfortable thing. Someone once told me that the only way you’ll win a negotiation is if you’re willing to walk away empty handed.  The more willing to live without it, the better the deal you will get.

7. Use your network of people  

Building your network is huge in the professional world. Once you’ve made these connections and relationships, don’t be afraid to ask these people for help, advice, etc. That’s what they’re there for and the majority of people are willing to sponsor, mentor, and share knowledge. You don’t have to always start from scratch, leverage the people in your network.  

8. The bar is not for fun, it's for working

I learned this lesson early on during the trade show circuit, due hugely in part to one of my great mentors. At the end of a long grueling day, everyone heads to the lobby bar for drinks. Don’t be mistaken; this is not the time to turn off your work-self and enjoy. Some of the greatest conversations and relationships are made at the bar, so never get carried away, never drink too much, never stop working and never let yourself miss an opportunity. 

9. Walk the walk vs. talking the talk

What characteristics do you want to be associated with your name? How do you want to be talked about when you’re not in the room? I’ve heard the saying, “perception is reality,” however there’s a big difference between walking the walk and talking the talk. For example, if you want people to think of you as organized, you should constantly describe yourself as organized, but more importantly, you have to execute. Actions speak louder than words. Words can only provide emphasis!    

10. Failure will always bring you a gift

Don’t be afraid to fail because you will always learn something. Making important decisions can be hard, especially when you’re held responsible, however, the worst decision you can possibly make is to not make one at all.   

These ten lessons are only a glimpse into the invaluable things I’ve learned during the past four years, however I didn’t learn them on my own. Someone once told me that there is no such thing as original thought. We all learn from each other and take what we need from them to evolve them into our own ideas.  I learned each of these lessons from one of my mentors, which I am forever grateful for, because they’ve all helped me grow at an astronomical pace. 

I can only imagine the words of wisdom I'll wish I could have told my 25-year-old self when I'm 30 or 40 years old. That is the beauty of mentorship. Hopefully, I won’t have to wait that long if I continue to surround myself by people who are willing to guide me in the right direction.